More and more women are refusing to get married as teenagers. But feminism has begun to seep into the community and I wanted to represent that in the novel. Ten years ago, I was following this path, doing what I was supposed to do as an Arab-American female. They wanted me to maintain my reputation, so I was not even allowed to mingle with Americans. Like the four granddaughters in the book, I was not allowed to attend public school because my parents were afraid that my Arab values would be corrupted and I’d want to behave like an American girl. This was my world growing up, but I did not want to write a memoir. The novel traverses 1990 to 2008 for a reason.

Still, in the home, and in the wider community, it is tolerated. Our mosques favor equality between men and women, and they’re completely opposed to domestic abuse. But it’s important to recognize that it’s rooted in culture. That said, in some Arab-American families, domestic violence is the norm. There is always a danger in having a single story represent an entire culture or community. Yet even though this meant portraying some of the dark aspects of my community, like domestic abuse, I didn’t want to confirm the many stereotypes that exist about Arab culture, specifically that every man is violent and every woman is a victim. BADER: What do you want readers to take away from A Woman Is No Man ?ĮTAF RUM: I wanted to write an authentic story about the lives and struggles of many Arab-American women, especially since our voices are underrepresented in literature. I spoke to Rum in early January about her life, the writing process, and her fear that Arab Americans will dub her a traitor for exposing what she calls 'the deeply complicated and sometimes dark aspects of our community.”ĮLEANOR J. Called one of the most anticipated releases of 2019 by , Marie Claire, and The Millions, the book is a sweeping intergenerational tale that addresses an array of issues: family loyalty, gender expectations, domestic violence, assimilation, honor and dishonor, and cultural continuity. Her first novel, A Woman Is No Man, was released by HarperCollins on March 5. After finishing her degrees, Rum continued her studies, eventually completing a master’s in American and British literature.

Still, ambition held sway, so she pursued a college education, majoring in philosophy and English. Instead, she was expected to marry young, have children, and live as generations of women before her had lived - confined to a domestic tableau that afforded little to no interaction with the diverse outside world.įor a while, Rum complied, entering into an arranged marriage at age 19 and having two children within three years. But as the oldest of nine children born to Palestinian immigrant parents, she quickly learned that this was not what her family or community wanted. WHEN ETAF RUM was growing up in Brooklyn, New York, she dreamed of becoming a lawyer.

A woman is no man